another moral hangover. fuck.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
