The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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