we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
