oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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