It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
