Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize