I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize