Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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