I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
