I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
