the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize