im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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