your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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