I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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