I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
