Do you still have your period?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
