Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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