i just wanna soil my oats bro
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
