i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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