For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
