I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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