would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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