I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
