seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
