Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
