I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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