Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
