i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
