How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
