these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
