There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
