I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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