why didn't you poke me back
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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