even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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