your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize