Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
