six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
