he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
