I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Randomize
