I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
