woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
