I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
