Where is the hickey?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
