okay pat passed out under dana's car
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
