I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
