She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
