That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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