Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize