i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
