Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize