My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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