Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
