I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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