Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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