so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
