I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize