my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
