To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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