i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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