Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
