I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
