I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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