It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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