They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
