96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
