dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
