ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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