did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it's like heaven, but drunker
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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