It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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