tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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