i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
