So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
