Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
