Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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