i permit you to call me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
