why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
