Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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