You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
