did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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