Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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